willnodoubtmakesense

Won't be my last one:

The fact is that 2009 has been a gigantic, stretched and disgusting asshole of a year...your first memory or even your last will have you rolling on the floor in the fetal position as it will me.

All the negativity

All the death

All the hate

All of the RAGE.

Its an essential part of life

But then again Slipknot can fill this bit so I don't have to be original!

♪Life's so shitty, but ain't it fuckin' great?♪

I can't name the good things to happen to my life this year with two hands, that is how fucked this year was, as I know it was for many others.

But one of the things I can look at and never regret was that I met Rhiannon, regardless I won't regret that

There is another..

Otherwise it gets cloudy and hard after.

Someone that wouldn't have happened so soon unless Dad committed suicide was me going to Brisbane again, I went up for Dads funeral and stayed with Darryl and Rachey for a few days, that was a good thing despite the hate and pain.

The fact I have changed in such a way is one, before I was wise, mid 20's and traveled wise, now I feel like a 30 year old, I don't know everything nor do I flaunt what I know, but the moments I do pipe up it is helpful to those around me.

The fact is 2009 has brought many things to people, its given people different experiences.

Something has happened where its the epitome of where, how and WHY 2009 has been shit, your cars engine exploded, you lost your license, your parents split up, you got fired from your dream job, SOMETHING FUCKED WITH YOU.

Some people have needed someone that is below them, the situation there in, even if its to remind them that you have someone out there to talk to, to have a cry with and remember the pains and pleasures of 2009.

You've had a moment where you've reached rock bottom.

To name the third thing of what I got out of 2009 was this, it was also one of the biggest and hardest lessons in life, I've learnt to appreciate hitting rock bottom..

I know this will sound crazy and will only make sense to a handful of others, but I appreciated being picked up, thrown into a wall, then having my head beaten to a bloody pulp into a limestone rock.

I may be psychotic, I may have a slight pain fetish, I may have issues but I know what feels right and what feels wrong...

I was told 2009 was going to be my year, after all it did start on a few high's and ended on this thing called a low

2010 feels right, I simply cannot wait for it.



yet I can, I may want to hold onto this year despite what is has brought me.


oh well, 2010, my year, again.


I have a job Interview in under 3 hours, I'm nervous, I couldn't sleep, here's hoping.