Early Morning emotions and spam

Have you ever just been so come over with such emotion and memory it chokes you? was the only way to remove the hand from your throat and allow you to breath was to just to blurt shit into a population of family and friends on facebook?

If you answered 'NO' to the last one you're lucky, very lucky, you're not as stupid as I nor have another dollar bill to your name for being wrong.

This morning I had my random full play-list on, of all songs I had on my computer Johnny Nash played.

Just play the song as you continue to read, eh?



For a bit of history of the song:

It was released in 1972 on an album of the same name by Johnny Nash

Now this was once a song I could love and listen to for hours on end and just love my life, I loved it, I could probably make a day out of it, all I needed was a packet of cigarettes and a way for this song to be punched out extremely loud.

Now I can't, I can't stand the song, it makes me cry, it makes me hurt and it makes me want to yell and scream in an inhumane manner, it makes me connect with my father in the shittiest way possible.

Despite how I now loath this song, last night it started, I knew what it would do to me and I forced myself to listen to it once more, on repeat, for about 4 hours time this morning in pathetic attempt to just feel the moment and cry whatever I could out.

To analyse, Spam = Morphine, it numbs everything.

Last night the morphine and mind numbing of spam didn't work, hence the moltov effect where I just threw that bottle of emotion blindly.

I probably should have just turned the internet off and sat in bed, continued to cry until the wee hours in the morning, but did I? fuck no.

I didn't want to wake everyone with the sound of my yelling, screaming and crying.

Which come to think about it, it'd probably sound like all Super Saiyan transformation in one (providing you watched the Dragon Ball (Z, GT, etc) series)




Now that I have released that, I think its time for ANOTHER Cigarette, I consumed 4-5 while posting that, it took me a good hour or so to write while listening to I can see clearly now.