My Prier bead broke, the green ones resides with Rhiannon now, whatever happens or happened to it shall be, its nolonger mine, but my black ones, they now reside with Pedo Bear....I mean Pedo Panda, broken and forever sacred..
Clearly it was a sign that I now need to look back one last time and kiss the past goodbye, or it was a sign of the times coming ahead, who knows, I sure as fuck don't.
My beads breaking was scary as all fuck, I placed them down on the counter before hopping in the shower, upon returning I found that the cross had broken and was shattered, why the cross? Dad wasn't religious, neither have I really.
The last time I tried to enter a church was 1 year ago as of next Monday, where I was kicked out because I had piercing and hair.
I always intended to have a cross tattooed on me, but go figure the rose resides where I planned it to be.
This morning I woke up and was looking back, sitting in the car on the way to work and looking back, looking back and pondering how the fuck I ended up here and what am I doing now that I'm here.
How the fuck did I somehow manage to meet a girl who would be the piece missing from my puzzle of getting to Brisbane, for good, HOW?
Who the fuck knows how this all works, I guess in a way something Jen said once upon a time was true, Dad is looking out for me in a big way, I guess meeting her was thanks to Dad in the scheme of things.
I had my eyebrow plucked tonight, not my choosing but it had to be done again anyway.
I realised as I looked in the Mirror:
"Fuck, I'm still Mark Buckridge"
Like Father, Like Son they say.
A year ago I was planning my day off work to commit suicide and was given the green light to have it off, exactly a year ago..
No doubt Dads was a last minute thing, he had been planning it but I highly doubt that he would have pulled the plug when he did, so early and so sloppy.
His choice, he wasn't as much as a perfectionist as I was, I guess I have Mum to thank for that.
One fucking year ago it would have been so different.
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